Have you found your picker-upper?

hqdefaultAre you somebody’s picker-upper? Clothes putter-awayer? Cabinet and drawer closer? Do you do it out of love or must? If you answered must, then maybe you should not be in that relationship. Do they do the same for you in other areas?  Seriously, if the answer is no… then run, baby, run! If they do the same and you do it out of love, then oodles of awesome for you both!

In truth, most happy, healthy relationships have that balance of cupboard door shutter and towel hanger-upper.  Couples who feel comfortable in their companionship, have solid trust and an open communication, are delighted to be the yin to their other half’s yang.  You may not always see eye to eye or agree on everything, yet you cannot imagine being without the other.

For some of us though, being our own cohort is not a bad thing. Too often, we get wrapped up in the unrealistic, romance side of a relationship, that we do not find peace and happiness in ourselves. We watch too many romantic movies and listen to too many love songs. Thinking, it doesn’t matter who, this could happen in our relationship. This could be us, if only…  IF ONLY.  Such a dangerous phrase.  It means you are not happy in the here and now with your spouse. Content to just have someone, anyone that will love you or at least pretend to.  That is not love. That is not healthy. You are setting yourself up for failure.

After years, 21 to be exact, of always wanting to have a partner I finally realized that I had to like me and do for myself before I would allow the right person in to take the K1 spot.  To not want to throttle them whilst they chomp their food like a horse chewing cud or snore so long at night that it takes all my energy to NOT hold a pillow tightly over their face.  To trust everything they say.

Lately, a close family member/friend has been so seemingly desperate for a relationship.  Bound and determined to make one work. To hope so badly, I am convinced they lie awake at night and cry about what is wrong with them.  When, in actuality, there is NOTHING wrong with them. They are smart, good-looking, full of life, and super fun to be around.  They just need to be patient for that right person to come along. Maybe next week, month, year, or ten years from now.  Just DO NOT settle.

I truly believe that there is only one match for you.  Others may be close, or we may WANT them to be. Perhaps you just don’t want to be alone. Well, 20 years later, it will be much harder to change your status quo. Children, family, friends, associates, all will be adversely affected.  When, if you and your partner would have been honest from the get-go, all the heartache could have been avoided.

So, my bit for today. Wait. Be happy now. Do all the things now. Then in the end, your reward will be even sweeter!

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