In any relationship, every personal decision we make automatically brings joint consequences, this is why making decisions together when married or living that way is important. This would apply even to friendships, especially close ones. As I adamantly believe that honestly is the best policy, tact is often an acquired skill many do not have nor utilize. And, tact or the lack of, is usually realized in the absence of the skill. When saying a truth to someone without concern for his or her feelings.
In the past year, so much has changed in my own life that helped me to realize, it isn’t me. I thought it was. I thought I was a horrible friend as someone very close chose to cut me out, to hide things from me, and hurt me. There are always two sides, always. I didn’t pay enough attention maybe or too much? Definitely struggled with many issues within my relationship with my partner, maybe I shared too much with this friend and it was overwhelming. Silly me, I thought that was what friends were for. I guess not. Either way, there were decisions made, tactless comments made about what was happening and asking for the bare truth and being met with colorful half truths and some blatant lies. And in the end that relationship was lost. Only being confirmed in the last couple weeks. Oddly enough, it feels good, freeing, and I am happier to have made it through more mature in my emotions. And, I confirmed my true friends. That there are many and that is better than one.
Through it all, my relationship with my partner broke, healed, then grew and is now better than ever! So many decisions made for better and worse brought us to each point and then back around. Honesty played a part in each ultimately proving it really is the best policy. I used to see couples fall ‘in love’, leaping through fields of lilies holding hands with glowing faces and hearts overflowing and feel inspiration and sadness at the same time. Always wanting that someone who would always be honest and love me for me. Finally, though we have not yet leaped through any lily fields, we hold hands with glowing faces and hearts overflowing.
How is the ‘Love’ lost? Couples stop engaging in the “everyday moments”. They stop talking. They stopped trying. They assumed they could do it all on their own, and they do. We have learned that being a part of everything going on in each others lives keeps the flame blazing and keeps the honesty present. Still maintaining individuality to think for ourselves, we talk openly about the past, present, and focus on the future making decisions together.
Be honest. Have tact. Show love.