Heartbroken in Paradise

What is it like to be with someone that you truly love and want to commit to, but they do not want to commit to you? Pretty damn shitty. So many things that run through my brain on a daily basis.  On our 5 year anniversary, I got a kiss. The perfect day. 6-18-16, a palindrome with the infinity sign in the center to boot. Sometimes it is hard to make sense of it all. We are 41 years old. So you would think that a promise ring would not come into play at this later stage in our life, but you guessed it… I received one. But then, it was taken back within a few days to be ‘finished’. Now, it has been well over a month. Still no proposal, nothing. Perfect opportunities have been there. The last one was literally the perfect setup. My heart is sad. It hurts. I honestly do not know how much more I can take. Our relationship has been ladled with heartbreak after heartbreak on his part to mine and I have stayed. Knowing a better future was there. We click, we fit, in nearly every way a couple can. Then why is it so hard for him to give me what I desire.

I feel like giving up. Walking away. But, truthfully, I have never been a quitter.

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